Creme Brulee

As I was reading my past blogs I noticed my recurring theme:  How to be genuinely nice to others. I guess I never really realized last year (when I wrote all my past blogs) what I was continually writing about. Perhaps it is because that is one of the things I struggle with most in life. I do the whole "fake it till you make it" thing a lot. Or try to more like.

I had a very heart warming experience tonight. Tomorrow is my birthday and since I work at a restaurant I get the pleasure of a free birthday dessert. WIN. Even though I serve them all the time I rarely consume them so trying to pick was very difficult. Creme Brûlée had kind of been in the back of my mind... we make our own in house and I have only had it one other time. (Having worked at this establishment for 7 years, that is kind of sad.) The problem- I worked a double today, meaning I was there all day. So the last thing I wanted was to stay there longer to eat my dessert, and have to share with everyone. (I know, very selfish but hey it's my birthday!) So if you have ever had Creme Brûlée, you know that it has a sugar top that is fired. The only way we are able to make it To-Go is to make it in the ceramic cup, then scoop it into a to-go container. :( Not super pretty, and it ruins the fired sugar top which is the best part. I love taking my spoon, and cracking the fired sugar, some sort of strange pleasure. I almost got cheesecake because I wanted a pretty dessert to take home, sit in bed, watch a movie, and feel special. After much contemplation, and discussion with co-workers, I did decide on the Creme Brûlée. I had even talked myself into being OK with having a lumpy mess in a to-go soup container. NOT PRETTY, and no cracking of the sugar. But it was going to be ok because it would taste divine! Well the gal who makes the desserts in the kitchen, overheard my contemplations. She went out of her way to ensure that my Creme Brûlée to-go was pretty. When I went to grab it, I couldn't believe how beautiful it was! She had kept the entire sugar crust intact while placing it in the tiny to-go cup (a very hard and annoying feet, one that I would never ask a fellow co-worker on a busy night). I thanked her heartily. 
As I sit here in bed, I am cherishing every bite. More so because she had made me feel special, and loved. What a sweet and heart warming thing to do. Best gift ever, because of the thought and intention. 

My newest resolution is to try to remember my Creme Brûlée, when someone asks me to do something that puts me out or asks of me more than I would like. It may just make their day.   

Speak before you think?

You are busy. You are stressed out. You are tired. You are hungry. Someone says something you weren’t expecting and are too frustrated to think about. BAM. You overreact. 

It’s easy to react, but nearly impossible to take it back. 

Reactions are key in how you are perceived by others. Your words, body language, and even your breathing are all accounted for whilst being interrupted. Your reactions happen so naturally and fast, that often you do or say something you truly do not mean. Yet the deed is done, and boy after someone overreacts it is hard to forget. 

This world now moves so fast that we have instant everything. We expect things to be instant. For example, when our internet doesn’t download a page in a second we are frustrated by the slowness. In the same token when speaking to someone we expect an immediate answer. 

Slow down, take a moment. Think before you speak, and act, and allow others the same courtesy. BAM. Your much happier, with yourself and others. 

The good, the bad,...the truth

We all have bad days. 

It’s easy to forget that. 

It’s easy to think only you have hard things going on, and that other peoples problems are not as important. 

A few days ago I had an experience that opened my eyes. Someone once treated me with little respect and was fairly mean to me. It was the first and only time I had met this person. (Not a great first impression). So when I saw this person again, I immediately had a negative feeling toward her. Yet I was in such a great mood and having such a good day, I thought “Well just kill em’ with kindness”. So I did. There was no need, this person seemed completely different and was so nice I thought maybe she had a twin. So I thought about it and slowly that night I realized that everyone has bad days. 

Sometimes we take our hardships out on other people. Sometimes intentionally, but more often not. And usually when we do, we regret it later. That doesn’t justify the behavior. Perhaps it can but help you next time someone is rude, short, or even plain mean to you. Just remember they most likely will regret it later, and don’t mean it now. Try not to let it get to you.

Everyone has bad days, even you. 

It's all small stuff

There are things in life we can’t change. We can’t change the weather, we cannot change the seasons. These things come and go regardless of how we feel. I was thinking about that today, as it was quite a bit chillier than it has been. I myself, welcome the cooler weather, the break from the heat. Some of my friends do not share my opinion... and today’s coolness was nothing more than a tightness in their chests, and foreboding of the cold to come.  

So I was thinking about this. About the absolute lack of control we have over the atmosphere, and the elements that mother nature brings. There is but one thing we can control. Our attitude. We can only direct our thoughts and feelings. 

Similarly, this reminds me of another situation that comes up in my life.

The way others treat me. I have no power or say when it comes to this. Sure I can try my best to prevent any unwanted attention, but I cannot stop it. I can merely change my attitude towards their behavior, try to not let the little things bother me, and sometimes even the big things. This is something that has been plaguing my life lately and I realized today that there is no need for it. 

Then on the flipside, I wonder who is bothered by my manners? Perhaps I should be more aware of what I say and do, and also how the things I say and do might affect those around me. 

Don’t forget that even on your stormiest days filled with thunder and lightning, someone is waiting for your sunshine. 

Decisions, Decisions

There is good advice everywhere. Everywhere you look there is someone or something giving you “good” advice. In fact there is so much of it, I often feel it cloud my own personal wisdom. 

For instance, you have the carefree advice of “Don’t worry about it, things will work out.” Or “Everything happens for a reason, and the right things always come.”

And then you have the, “Be smart and make good decisions, and plan ahead.” 

Well both of those sound great. So how does one choose?

No one wants to be a chicken and live in fear of the ‘what ifs’. Yet most people also don’t want to be known as rash. So what comes first the chicken or the egg?

Whenever I am confused and can’t decide, this quote comes to my mind, “The brave do not live forever, yet the cautious do not live at all.” Perhaps the wisdom in this quote is that you can never be certain on anything. Taking risks is just a part of life. But remember being smart, and being cautious are two different things. 

The best advice I have every heard is simple. Go with your gut and do what YOU think is best. After all you are the one that has to live with your choice. Don’t be afraid to take a risk or two....what’s the worst that could happen? 

Be true to you, and throw your chickens and eggs out the window (preferably not onto someones head).

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Alright so everyone has heard the ridiculously overplayed “Somebody I used to know” song. It came on again tonight on my way home. A line stuck out at me and I started thinking about it. Gotye sings, “you can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness”. 

It’s true. It’s easy to fall into your own self pity, or even a somber mood. How easy it is to forget the beauty of life. The beauty of waking up each morning. The beauty of living in freedom, in a time of endless opportunity. 

I often forget how lucky I am to not only have a home, but to have a job. Never mind hot meals, and running water. Never mind an education. Did you know that 1.4 billion people live without clean drinking water? I can think of a hundred times I have bought a bottle of water and then wasted half of it. I take so much for granted. 

I wish I could say that I am doing my part in trying to help the world. 

Alas I am merely one more young adult trying to figure life out. I don’t have lots of money to donate to those in need. I don’t have extreme skills or talents to help. But there is something I can do. I can be happy and grateful. For every day and every breath. I can extend my happiness and try to uplift those around me. I can try my best not to let the small things get me down. And as a wise person once said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff (And it’s all small stuff)”. 

Master and Commander

You know that feeling when you are going down stairs and you miss the last step? That instant falling feeling that makes your heart race, your blood pound, and your adrenaline sore. Fear. Your body and mind are enveloped in fear. Even if but for a few moments. Then slowly your body adjusts, and you forget the occurrence.

You forget the fear you felt. 

I sometimes feel as though my life is ruled by fear. I’m afraid of what people will think of me, afraid of the uncertain future, afraid of missing out, afraid of being rash, afraid of being complacent.

If fear is so easily forgotten, why am I constantly haunted by it? 

Why should it be a part of my life?

I’m tired of it.

I keep thinking about the quote from Invictus, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”. 

Fear is a part of life. It drives us. It pushes us. ...If we let it. I fear many things but today I made a choice. I will not let fear rule my life, I will instead rule fear. Fear is going to become my tool, my inspiration. Whenever I feel my heart start to race or my hands start to sweat that’s when I know that what is happening is real. I am going to use this. By recognizing my fear I can try to manipulate it, work off it, and use it as a guide.

My new motto: If your terrified, your on the brink of something big. Go with it.